First off, I feel you.
Secondly, if you have a great dad, that’s awesome. No hard feelings at all. I want you to pray for him, and then I want you to tell him you are praying for him.
However, if you don’t have the ‘world’s greatest dad’, and all of this is weird for you, I can relate.
Each of our stories are different, with their own complications, twists and turns, bumps and bruises.
You grow up wanting your life to look something like a funny family-friendly sitcom, where the mom is witty and beautiful, and the dad is content and kind.
But I’m guessing, like so many of us, that’s not what happened. Maybe it’s just something they’re not. Maybe you really wanted things from your parents that they just couldn’t give you. Maybe you got older and realized what was ‘wrong’ with your family, maybe you were in kindergarten and your parents sat you down and told you that they couldn’t live together anymore. Whatever it looks like for you, I’m going to hypothesize that there’s hurt, discord, and sin.
Maybe you are married to this precious guy who loves you with all his heart, but you stay up at night worrying about what might go wrong because you feel like you can’t trust anyone, because you have “daddy issues.”
Maybe you feel like you don’t know how to be a good parent because you can’t seem to get past the disillusionment you have from your own.
Maybe you had a parent up on a pedestal that fell really, really hard, and you’re just trying to pick up the pieces and broken parts of your life and your heart.
So yeah, for some of us, Father’s Day is weird and hard and awkward.
I want you to know, Friend, that you are not alone.You’re not the only one scrolling through social media, wondering what it’s like to have (what seems like) a perfect Dad; wondering what it must be like for your parents to be strong and steady and your dad to really be the man of God that you needed him to be.
One of the saddest things about my story, is that what happened in my family is pretty common, typical, even. The hurt that I feel is similar to so many of the students I’ve taught and so many of the friends I’ve made.
I wish I could sit down with you, and offer you a cup of hot tea with honey, and tell you to your face that you do have a perfect Father. You do have a man worth celebrating, that you do have a Daddy who wants to know how your job is going, who wants to tell you how excited He is that you’re finally pregnant, that wants to hear stories about the kids in your class. He wants to know how your marriage is going, He wants to know about your apartment search, He wants to know how your college applications are coming.
The biggest, strongest, most compassionate Being wants to have tea with you, too. He wants to be close to you, He wants to hear from you, He wants to answer the phone call He hopes you make, He wants to send messages reminding you that He delights in you. He wants you to be whole, and He doesn’t want you to have “daddy issues.”
So, if you have similar feelings this Father’s Day season, or are blessed to not have this particular hurt, let’s pray for the men in our world, in our homes, and in our churches. Let’s pray for conviction, for the courage to act on what needs to be dealt with, let’s pray for accountability between strong male Christian friendships, and a commitment to our Heavenly Father.
Thank you for reading my tear-stained journal. Love to you all,